A GRAND DISCOVERY.
Some Lost Leaves of the Book of Mormon Disentombed.
Salt Lake Tribune.
On Thursday last some laborers dig-ging a ditch near Provo came upon an old iron box with some unreadable inscrip-tions on the top. Deeming the find of some importance they shipped it to the Church historian who manufactures startling events in Mormon history, one door west of the Amelia palace. The box, upon being blown open with dynamite, revealed a number of vellum leaves, which were immediately recog-nized (by the smell) as the lost leaves of the Book of Mormon. Yesterday a Tribune reporter called on John Taylor, and was kindly permitted to inspect the documents. The inscriptions were in Hebrew short-hand (old style), but the reporter had no difficulty in translating them, with the assistance of a peep stone which Taylor loaned him, The chapter read as follows:
In the year of great tribulation and distress the children of Israel marched westward and settled in the mountains of Utah.
And Young, whose surname was Brig-ham, preached unto the people, saying:
Come unto me all ye that are heavy laden and bring in your tithes. Bring the first-born of all the kids and the heifers and the horses and give them unto me.
Bring in the milk and the butter, and the wheat, and what spare shekels you have in your habitations, that I may wax fat upon the earth.
For the Lord has said that the seer and revelator should live in idleness, and his followers shall work like the devil from the rising of the sun to the going down thereof, and a few hours of the evening.
And Brigham cried with a loud voice: "Come in lively and put up liberal, for the prophet of the Lord has spoken."
And the people were sore troubled within themselves and made secret la-mentations, but durst not anger the prophet of the Lord. So they pungled up and cussed with exceeding wrath.
And he called upon them to build houses, and they worked like horse-thieves to do it.
And they built telegraph lines and took stock for pay; but Brigham owned and run the lines, and there was narry a divy unto this day.
And he handled the tithing fund and went for everything in sight. For the cold cash and the produce and the ducats went he.
And his annual clean up was a mill-ion of dollars, and the Twelve Apostles never got a smell.
And they lifted up their voices in sore tribulation and cried aloud, saying, "Give unto us a whack at the sack."
And Brigham answered and said unto them: "Behold, are ye not children of Anak, and walk not after the word of the Lord? Behold, the spirit of prophecy is in me, and hearken unto the words which I, the Seer of the Lord, prophesy," and they drew near and hearkened dili-gently for the revelation, and Brigham revealed unto them, saying:
"Behold, the Lord appeareth unto me in a cloud of fire, saying, 'Tell the Apos-tles that they will have no whack at the sack, for I, the Lord, hath spoken it.' "
And the Twelve went their ways weeping. But Brigham laid his finger against the side of his nose, and laughed until the going down of the sun.
And he sent for his fiddlers and his wives, and made merry until midnight.
After this several chapters are miss-ing, but in the ninth chapter the death of the Prophet is thus graphically de-scribed :
And behold, Brigham, the Seer of God, was sickened, and the Apostles came unto him and prayed, anointing him with holy oil. And after three days he cried out, saying, "D— n your holy oil and prayers. Give unto me some pep-permint and ginger root, and be quick about it!"
And they hastened to send for doctors, but it was too late. And when the healers came they said, "Green corn," and the head cook knew it was so.
And the old man rolled all night from the pain which was in the belly, and no man could comfort him. And he turned his face to the wall on four sides, and the floor and the ceiling looking nine ways for Sunday, and thus he gave up the ghost.
The planting of the seer is too tearful for print, but the history continues:
And after the corpse was planted the Apostles were exceeding glad, for they said within themselves "We shall handle the sack, and make our pile twelve times a year."
And the twelve handled the sack, and when the handling was done the sack was sick.
And the Apostles rejoiced that they could get their fins in, and then waxed wealthy in the land.
And the people worked and sweated, and bent their backs and blistered their hands, and cursed the seer, and paid tithes sorrowing,
And the Danites waxed mighty in the land, and the Gentiles were sore afraid.
And the children of Dan went forth to destroy the children of the Gentiles, and smote them in the night.
And they destroyed their first-born and their wives and their little ones.
And the G-entiles rose up saying, "We stand no more of this nonsense," and they played the same game with the Danites, and smote them hip and thigh.
And they strewed the ground with them, and the Danites were awearied and said among themselves:
"Let us quit this business or we will all be dead men,"
And they all said, "Behold the head of him who speaks unto us is level and there is nutriment in his talk," and they harkened unto him.
The rest of the chapters are not yet translated, but will be in a few days, and will be given to the world in the Tri-bune.
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